Best Friend's Mom - The Devoted Mother

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Think of the other "friend-moms" we see in the outside world: The "trying-too-hard" mom depicted by Amy Poehler in Mean Girls, the mom who wants to be one of the girls so bad it's just cringeworthy (and inappropriate). Or Gilmore Girls' Lorelai-and-Rory-Gilmore pairing of mom and daughter who seem to exist in a generally symbiotic über-reality. There's the mom, someone has one, someone likely to work in your very own office, whom that daughter speaks to daily, gets advice from, shops with, with whom she confides in every matter, things you can't imagine talking about with your own mom. Did these moms really fail to exist before now, or have they always been there, if not talked about in this way? Maybe some moms and daughters, like some family members, just get along better than others. Is being a best-friend parent good for children, or a form of childhood overindulgence? The Test of Four says parents may be overindulging if the answer to one or more of the following questions is “yes”: Then there are people like Julie and Samantha, who seem to be friends because they have similar interests, because they spent time together and in doing so realized they have fun together. Maybe they're friends because, goodness gracious, they just like each other, barring the occasional dispute that comes from hanging out a lot. But that's kind of what friendship is about, no matter who the players are, no? As Williams writes, "By rejecting the traditional traps, she and Julie have sort of beat the system by waging a new form of rebellion, one that’s not between parent and child but rather forged between them, against some standardized definition of family life. They’ve created their own dynamic, whether others understand it or not." It was the Summer of my 18 birthday. Sarah decided to through a party for me. I was up for it. After all she is my best friend. Her mother was going through a divorce and well Sarah was a bit down about it. She thought the party would take her mind off of it. Sarah decided on a pool party. It was set up for this weekend. My heart raced because secretly I liked her mom and seeing her in a bikini would be the highlight of the party. Well I rustled around for some cash. I worked overtime to get the right bikini I would wear. It was rainbow. Fitted my personality real well. After all being a lesbian I have to represent my colors. I was a bit shy though, all these hot women would surround me, but my eyes were on just one. It was Sarah's Mom Jenny. No one would like that idea so I kept pushing it away. She was 38 years old and her I was 18. Sarah was my best friend I couldn't hurt her feelings. I kept thinking about it. If something were to happen how would Sarah handle it? I pushed aside my thoughts for the time being as I paid for my suit and walked out. That's when I ran straight into Jenny.

On my first day of college, I met my now best friend. Standing in the hallway of our dorm on move-in day, I immediately felt a connection — not just to her, but to her mom, as well. They introduced themselves and something about them just made me feel so comfortable. Will being a best-friend parent mean spending a disproportionate amount of family resources on one or more of my children? (Yes. When asked, 40 percent said they would buy their children everything they wanted, and 73 percent guess and then buy things for their children without asking.) I turned around and did my best not to look. The damn mirrors in there didn't help any. I couldn't help it I hadto stare. Her perky breasts before me. A tattoo above her right breast of a rose with thorns. I tried to shut my eyes. That didn't work to well. I looked down to her belly button ring. I finally got the nerve to turn. She must've notice for the next thing out of her mouth was: Even though Julie and Samantha assure Williams that they do fight, over typical teen/mom things like room-cleaning, Williams is amazed witnessing that rarest of things, a unicorn of familial relationships—"a fantasy come to life." She shares her own mom experience, in which certain things (discussions of sex, for example) are taboo, in which clothes belong purely to one person or the other, in which older generations are hopeless about the technologies of the new. Parenting was different then, Williams hypothesizes: Now, with shows like the new VH1 reality show Mama Drama, the parenting norm is BFF-dom. Is this good? Bad? True? What does it even mean? She's the exclamation mark in the happiest sentence that I could ever possibly write." — Michael Faudet

Is best-friend parenting done to benefit the parent more than the child? (Yes. They said they were parenting this way because they felt their own parents didn’t understand them. They want their children to accept them.)

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray..." — Jimmie Davis, “You Are My Sunshine” Will being a best-friend parent interfere with or slow down what my child needs to learn at this age? (Yes. Children in this study and our studies reported growing up without many of the life skills needed to function as adults because their best-friend parent did things for them.) Friendship as a method for adults to seem young and kids to seem grown-up; it's positively innovative. Williams points out that this "perfect relationship" is still not exactly common, a reality highlighted by the fact that Samantha and Julie's relationship still appears, if not entirely too good to be true, something so unusual as to be gawked at in an article. Now as a busy mom myself, I think about her when I’m feeling maxed out and am tempted to tell my kids I don’t have time to do something they really want to do. Instead, I remember how she constantly said that her relationship with her kids was the most important thing to her and nothing else mattered half as much. She talked on the phone with her mom once a day. I noticed during those conversations there was mutual respect and love they had for each other. She called her mom every day because she trusted her.They sit at the bar together, which makes Samantha, 19, feel grown-up (which she likes) and, presumably, Julie, 50, feel young, which she probably likes as well.